Super awkward moment at Improv class last night. Let me set the stage: We are being taught by this really nice, knowledgeable, and funny guy named John*. John’s a medium-set blond guy with a shaved head. He’s a really helpful, positive personality who knows how to correct you without making you feel stupid, but also isn’t afraid to take a light dig at someone who needs to be taken down a peg.

There’s this other guy, Ryan*- very big, muscular dude, clearly an alpha personality. He is also a good guy but…. how shall I put this…. he doesn’t have spot-on comedic/social instincts. He’s one of those people who thinks he’s a bit funnier than he actually is (then again, glass houses….).

There’s a story about Ryan that sort of sums him up. When we start class John leads us through a few stretches to loosen us up. The first time we did this, John instructed us all to touch our toes, which he then proceeded to do. In fact he may have palmed the floor- very limber guy. Ryan then shouts out “Somebody told me if you can touch your toes it means you’re gay- hahahahaha.” Um. What?! It wasn’t appropriate, which would have been fine if it was funny, which it also was not.

So, last night we were getting ready to try this game where we throw out ideas to one another, and John cautioned that we should be careful to not be too offensive with our ideas (Apparently you’d be surprised what people come up with in the heat of the moment). One of my classmates sheepishly mentions, as an example of something offensive, a bad idea he had in a previous game where he asked his partner about his “gay marriage”. Ryan took this as an invitation to relive his own moment of homosexual glory, and shouted out “Yeah, remember how I said if you can touch your toes it means you’re gay?” I think he might have even had to say this twice to make it heard over the other conversations going on.

John deadpans: “Yeah, well, that didn’t offend me though, because I am gay!”

Several people laugh.

“That wasn’t a joke.”

Awkward. Silence.

Oh Jesus. Ryan, why did you have to take us down this road?

I must say though- the reason Ryan brought this little story up again was clearly because he remembered it as a bad choice. To my mind, that’s better than nothing- some people like that, you get the impression that they have no idea when a joke falls flat. Perhaps his normal social circle will laugh at anything with the word gay in it, but as long as he’s paying attention to negative feedback then his instincts will improve. Hard to hold a mistake against someone who is trying to get better.

For the record, my hands are far from clean. Right after this whole exchange I inserted into a story an element about a passive-aggressive Grandma electrocuting herself in the bathtub with a toaster. Hilarious! Oh, If I could turn back time.

(*names changed so I don’t accidentally out somebody!)