My mom and dad don’t come from big families and while we saw my mom’s brother’s family a few times a year, it never seemed to match the scale that I saw in other families in our neighborhood. The Breens were the most notable in my mind. They had tons of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents that all lived in the area. It was mind boggling to think that you could have so many people related to you. As I grew older, I really started to appreciate how much our neighbors, the Breens, had become a second extended family. Not only did they invite us to the many parties they had with their own extended family, but we routinely went on vacation with together and shared meals throughout the year. My dad’s side of the family is very spread out across the country and although I grew up seeing some of these people for one week every summer, it was never long enough to really establish a relationship.

The past year has been full of events that have kept this on my mind. While attending a ‘work weekend’ at the island where every summer I would see those people…I got the opportunity to see and enjoy the company of all those relatives in a more relaxed setting and at an age that allowed me to have adult conversations. My dad and I made that trip with his cousin, Hal. I don’t know if I was looking so hard for some connection that I started inventing them, but it really seemed that there were real similarities between my personality and these people that floated in and out of my life. I’ve always taken after my dad’s side of the family physically, and it is sort of intuitive that I would in other ways as well. The more time we’ve spent on this trip, the more I’ve been able to stop and connect with family that is spread out around the country. A real notable stop was one with another cousin of my dad’s.

Wendy greeted us in Chicago with the open arms that only get from family…even though I’d only met her once. She took us to see her son, Tad, and his kids.
She told us stories about other cousins that I have that I hadn’t met and it pretty quickly seemed to be that there were all these people out there that were kind of like me, had the same relatives, that I had never met. Most of these people live on the west coast and I’m anxious to meet them, but what really sticks out for me is that even without a blood bond you can form relationships with people that are as dear as family. What has felt so intense about meeting people that are ‘just like you’ doesn’t necessarily compare to the relationships that are built up over time…like the Breens.

Boynton is a family name on my dad’s side