E-Mail From Aunt Accidentally Opened

“Maybe it was the hangover or my roommate distracting me,” said Petersen, who, after realizing the roughly 17 different attachments had begun slowly loading despite her objections, passed the time scrolling through the two pages of addresses the message had previously been forwarded to. “The multicolored fonts, the smiley faces, the six exclamation marks after the subject line ‘Just a little something to brighten your day’—to think, this could have all been avoided.”

Haha, pitch perfect as usual!